1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (AMPC) 4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. 5 It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
Relationships can be very challenging. Especially family relationships and being married. Sometimes we set up expectations about what other people should do for us in a relationship. Sometimes those expectations we set up in our mind are unrealistic. We sometimes go into a relationship expecting the other person to keep us happy. It is not someone else’s responsibility to keep me happy. My happiness is my responsibility. We think we can change flaws in others and try to get them to see things our way (which in our mind may be the ‘right’ way). That is nothing but silliness. The more we try to make someone be like us the more we will find ourselves frustrated.
It is as if we set up in our mind how we think things should be and when they do not turn out in accordance to our expectations we get angry and upset – and usually at the people who were involved in not living up to our expectations. Maybe it would do us more good to focus on the expectations we set up on our mind and adjust those rather than what the other people are doing not to meet our expectations. Of course we set boundaries and limits on what is acceptable in a relationship and that is not at all what I’m talking about. I’m talking about requiring from someone ideals we have set up in our mind – which may not align to who that person is.
We cannot expect those we are in relationship to fix our hurting or completely understand how we hurt. The only one that understands us fully is God. God is who we should be going to when we are in pain. We all hurt differently and handle hurt differently. Because God created us, He knows what we need. We really cannot understand what others are going through unless we have gone through that very thing ourselves.
We all can change our mindset to be a mindset to not be control over how people act and react to us. We may not realize we have that mindset but I would venture to say that it is evident in each and every one of us in some sort of way. We all tend to be focused on ourselves. We can set our mind up to focus on what we can do to make a relationship great rather than focus on what the other person can do to keep us happy.
We often try to give people in a relationship what we would want rather than getting to know them and giving them what they want or need. When you understand what others might need in a relationship you might begin to see changes in the relationship.
There is nothing worth losing your peace over. Don’t make big issues over little incidences.
John 13:34-35 (AMPC) 34 I give you a new commandment: that you should love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too should love one another. 35 By this shall all [men] know that you are My disciples, if you love one another [if you keep on showing love among yourselves].
If you would like to accept Jesus as your savior, and you are not quite sure how, it is as simple as saying a prayer to God to let Him know you are ready to accept Him into your life. Say this prayer if you would like to invite Jesus to live in your heart:
Father God, I love you and believe in you. I need you Lord and I am sorry for my sins and the way that I live. Lord, I want you in my life. I receive Jesus as my savior and Lord. I believe that Jesus died for me and rose from the dead. Lord take me as I am and make me the way you want me to be. God, thank you for saving me and being with me on my journey. I am looking forward to my journey with you Lord. I know you will equip me for my journey and I am glad I have you by my side as I walk this walk of Life. Thank you Lord, I love you. Amen