Isaiah 61:3 (AMP) 3 To grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion—to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit—that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.
We can pray that God will open our eyes so we see the truth about ourselves. We can be so deceived about our problems and think that everything is everyone else’s fault but our own. It is okay to not be perfect and to need help from God. Pride sometimes can keep us from realizing the truth about ourselves. God helps the humble and those who need help.
When we go to God for help, he takes everything in us that is bad and replaces it with everything good that He is. When we truly understand his goodness and mercy, we no longer want to behave how we used to behave because of thankfulness. God will give us beauty for ashes but we have to give him our ashes. We can’t hold onto our ashes and expect beauty to come from that.